it don't matter what he said, child.
love don't act like that.
rid your mind of those lies, child.
he ain't where it's at.

i got love that purifies.
solidifies.
doesn't victimize.
it don't matter what he said,
child.
love don't act like that.

take back what is yours, child.
don't let him come stealin' round.
love... it ain't no thief, child.
it ain't gonna bring you down.

so get down on your knees, child.
it's time to restore your crown.
they're dancin' round the throne for you.
grace is showerin' down.

i love you so very wild, child...
so don't listen to what he say.
you're about to be adorned, child...
you're a phoenix and you're rising today.

gentle is what you were... at a time when life and circumstances were very ungentle.
i don't remember you ever uttering a harsh word.

an oasis is what you were.....
an island where i first let it all out, wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the end of your bed.
the filtered sun coming through the bedroom skylight,
casting morning shadows on the patchwork quilt.
you barely having the sleep out of your eyes.
but you listened.
every single word you took in.
and that is what you did every time after.

you had plans but you canceled them.
"nothing is more important", you told me.
if only i still believed that.

you always knew tears were coming before i even did.
you wouldn't let me run away.... or lash out.
you just sat me in your lap and let me cry.
let me vent.
you never uttered a harsh word.
you understood... sometimes even when i didn't.

i wanted to write this to thank you.
that seems so small.
in some ways, you saved my life.
that is, you made me really want to LIVE.
the oppression, anxiety, and anger were never there when you were around.

and now i know.
since Love visited in the flesh...
now....
nothing less.

Home

i'll paint the fences white for you
if you tell me you're coming home.

i'll put candles in the windowsills
to guide you in the gloam.

i'll wear your favorite dress and put a flower in my hair.
i'll warm the stove and light the fire
and sweep the front porch stairs.

i'll bake your favorite cake for you...
if you really are coming home.

i'll put away every fear for you,
if never more you shall roam.

if you knew how i watched you while you slept
and how much pressure i felt
pushing against the insides
of my metaphorical heart
then maybe you'd understand

how the same heart
feels
when i crumble on the
kitchen floor
every time you leave me...

even when you are present.

i wrote a prayer for you on shale.
i wrote it carefully.
then turned it over
and covered it with leaves,
so that the rain
wouldn't wash the message away.
i left it along the trail.

it may still be there.

the tears may wash the prayer
out of my heart.
or they might harden
and solidify
and make a barrier.
and i will forget
that i longed so much
for you to know the things i wrote.

but the earth knows..

and Love knows.

and my hope is that
maybe....
someday...
they will conspire together
to manifest earthen prayers,
buried under leaves.
even if the elements
conspire otherwise....

love note

surrounded by strangers
not acclimated to this air
i am right here
you're over there

ask to borrow my days
they are already lent
i've been on a spree
everything is spent

there is no change
nothing to give back
i poured it all out
from the longing....
and the lack

of air that is familiar.

Free Flowing...

i was peaceful before i met you,

but i wasn't smiling.... or laughing.

i wasn't lonely before i met you,

but i wasn't hopeful, either.

i thought i heard a sound when you came around...

but maybe i was just hearing things,

like when you are expecting someone

and your ears are extra alert to every noise...

you think you hear a car pull in or a door close shut,

but no one's really there.

i want you here.... and i don't.

it's too much and it's too little.

they say the journey to joy and sorrow follow the same road.

i thought I was choosing joy.

now I'm unsure of the destination....

i guess all we can do is walk.

feelin' the love......

I was loved on twice yesterday by two fellow bloggers. First, I received this awesome homemade citrus soap in the mail from Brandy, a gift to celebrate the opening of her new online Etsy shop. She trepidly contacted me to ask for my mailing address last week, not sure if I would give it to her. I assured her that I didn't mind, and that if I were to have a stalker, who better to have than a knitting, baking, soap-making mama who sends me free things in the mail. :) I encourage you to check her new shop out.... she has soap, cloth napkins, seeds, reusable bags, and felted goodies, with more to come. All are handmade.

Then, to add to the beauty of my day, I was contacted by L.L. Barkat, letting me know she put up this post about me. I clicked over and was moved to tears and extremely humbled by it. If that is all that ever came from my music, it would be enough.

So much love from this little blogging community of mine.... I never would have dreamt it when I put up my first post a little over a year and a half ago. Thank you, ladies... and thank ALL of you who have come into my life and moved me and encouraged me time and time again.

love is...... a father who gets up in the middle of the night when his little girl is puking her guts out, and sits with her in his easy chair, holding the bowl, rocking, and whispering words of comfort in her little ears.... who lends a nonjudgmental and consoling ear when she comes to him devastated and heartbroken because of mistakes she has made and poor choices that have left her in desperation.

love is.... a mother who sews little dresses for her daughter's dolls, who snuggles and reads to her even though she has lots of other things to be doing, who praises every accomplishment, no matter how small..... who's there in the room when her daughter is giving birth for the first time to lend encouragement and support.

love is..... a son that wakes up every morning and greets his parents with a big smile and so much excitement for the day, that he can hardly contain it.... who can change his mom's frown to a fit of laughter in a millisecond with something he says..... who tells his mom he loves her and is sorry for upsetting her, even though it was she who unduly lost her temper with him....who loves to serve his mom breakfast in bed on saturday mornings.

love is ...... a friend who shares coffee, laughter, and tears with you.... who 'gets' you like no one else....who tells you 'leave your son here and go home and rest for the day' when you walk to her house sobbing when life circumstances feel like they are too much to bear... someone you know your deepest secrets will always be safe with.

love is.... a God that stoops down to my weaknesses and draws me up to Him and invites me to dance with Him.... who never turns His back on me, even when I turn my back on Him..... who loves me so much that at times, I feel my heart will burst for the knowledge of it.... who rescued me from myself... and who never fails to paint a glorious sunrise or sunset over my mountains just for me.

" And now these three remain: Faith, Hope , and Love... but the greatest of these is Love."

-1 Corinthians 13:13