YAY........I Did It!!!!

Performed at a local Spoken word and Songwriters night, that is...... For those who have been reading a while, in December I posted about going as a listener to a local Songwriters night and how much fun I had and how inspiring it was. I noted that maybe I'd practice and be brave enough to participate the next time. There has been one since and I chickened out, but finally got up the nerve to do it this weekend.

I have been singing and playing music most of my life, as my parents are musicians. I rarely ever perform solo in front of people, though. I've always played with other musicians or sat in on big jam sessions. There's a huge difference between sitting on your porch with the local neighborhood kids for an audience and playing in front of a packed room full of other adults, many of them writers.

L.L. Barkat recently did a post called "Desirous", in which she talked about dreams and desires and how they are starting grounds for creative growth. She responded to a comment I left with the question, "What do you desire?" I had to think about it for a while because so many of my desires and dreams have been buried and put on back burners since becoming a wife and mother. I haven't felt in touch with that creative side of me for a while. Music, though, and the pusuit of it IS a desire in my heart, although I have rarely picked up any of my instruments or written songs since my son was born.

I have always loved playing music, but tend to hoard it. It's a very vulnerable feeling to get up in front of people and pour your heart out in song. I haven't written many songs, but most of the ones I have are filled with strong emotions and memories for me. So I never know how they are going to affect me when I'm singing them.....or how someone else might respond to them. But, that said, I want to grow both as a musician and songwriter......I am very lacking in so many ways......and I tend to grow the most when I am around other musicians and by putting myself out there.

So...... I did it! I almost chickened out again, but my husband and friends urged me on. I was nervous as all get out...and it wasn't my best performance ever...... but I'm glad I braved it. I received lots of encouraging words afterwards and was invited to come to the Writer's Group that hosted the evening. And, maybe...just maybe.....it will be a tad bit easier next time..........

(photo, compliments of my husband.....)